Sex and The Second City, Part 2

TO:      Hizzoner, Da Mare.
FROM:     Da Marketing Agency.
RE:          Sexy Chicago campaign – work in progress

“Marketing is like sex. Everyone thinks they’re good at it.”

We learned how true that saying is, after our October 26 post called for a campaign to claim Chicago’s rightful place as the world’s sexiest city. We were swamped with ideas. But now we’ve eliminated all the business-as-usual beauty pageant ideas (and their downscale cousins, wet T-shirt contests) and come up with half a dozen recommendations:

1.  A Labor Of Lust.
The Sexy Chicago campaign will lead an initiative for the entire Rust Belt, the industrial territory stretching from New York State, across the Great Lakes States and up into Wisconsin.
•    From now on the “Rust Belt” will be known as the “Lust Belt,” and Chicago will be positioned as its buckle.
•    “Chicago Unbuckled” marketing events will include tours to visit voiceover talent agency Naked Voices, the Naked Furniture store, and the site of the notorious turn of the century luxury brothel, the Everleigh Club. In June, our guests can also participate in the World Naked Bike Ride.

2. Get Wet.
To make marketing more efficient, we’ll build on what Chicago is already famous for. For example:
•    We’re composing a new theme song for the Chicago-To-Mackinac sailboat race in August. It’s a take-off on a Beatles classic, now renamed “Why Don’t We Do It In The Lake?”
•    We’re also working on a North Side vs. South Side, Cubs vs. Sox program that invites fans to “get to first base, get to second base” and so forth.

3. Let’s Get Busy.
Of course, we’ll be getting the local business community involved.
•    To transform our brutally cold winters into something sexy, we’re in talks with Peoples Gas and Nicor to run a “Turn Up The Heat” promotion. Instead of putting on a sweater, Chicagoland consumers could win enough free natural gas heat to go naked in their homes all winter long.
•    And we’re starting a non-profit That Chicago Sensation Foundation to fund smaller businesses’ development of sexy products and services. The first recipient will probably be Dr. Elena Bodnar, inventor of a bra that splits in half to become his and hers emergency gas masks.

4. Everybody’s Doing It.
To assure participation by all Chicagoans, we borrowed inspiration from the popular Take Your Pet To Work days.
•    We’ll be inviting Chicagoland citizens to dress down during “Go To Work In Your Underwear Day.”
•    Of course, recognizing that Chicago is not Miami or LA, we’ll encourage our more modest (or less attractive) citizens to just wear a lapel button, or wear their underwear on the outside of their clothing.

5. Good Enough To Eat.
On the Chicago food front, we’ve enjoyed some unexpected help from a tourist from the UK. We want to use Aaron Everitt’s deeply sensual testimonial about his first experience with Chicago-style deep dish pizza.
•    “The whole experience is basically the dietary equivalent of sex…first of all you have a 45 minute wait while the pizza cooks…which is a time where they ply you with appetizers… think of these as the foreplay.”
•    “When you’re done you feel an overwhelming sense of elation and also a curious amount of tiredness – all you want to do is sleep.”

6. Get All Worked Up.
Finally, we believe it’s time to reconsider that classic Chicago slogan, “The City That Works.” We recommend a better fit for Sexy Chicago:  “The City That Smirks.” It’s the perfect way to pay off a campaign that does exactly what marketing’s supposed to do:
•    Begin by promising gratification.
•    End with fulfillment.

Tags: chicago, Chicago deep dish pizza, Rust Belt, sex in the city, tourism marketing

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 at 9:30 pm and is filed under Alan Maites, Cool/Funny/Unusual, Marketing Communications, Robinson & Maites, Uncategorized, promotion. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.